Friday, December 27, 2013


I was talking to my husband about how to get my level 5 player's weapons more powerful. I want them to have more damage instead of a measly +1 here and there. I especially want to up grade my wedding rifle, a lovely rose gold beauty with "Reynaldo and Annah Forever" engraved on the sides and never ending shotgun shells. This baby has gotten me out of many a hairy spot and I'm loath to give it up. Sentimental reasons, you see.

 Nice but it needs a little something...

However, my asshole GM husband says I either had to just get a "better" weapon or go on a quest to find a wizard to magic it up. Ain't nobody got time to for that bullshit. 

So I'm doing a fundraiser. Give me your gold for rare and delightful flailsnail goodies and the sense of accomplishment in making the world a better (and safer) place. Elsa needs to turn her 2d4 shotgun into at LEAST a 2d8.
 That's more like it.

Proceeds will go towards whoever has the magic pretend land know-how to turn my prized baby into a orc baby killer. All expenses paid, with tip. CALLING ALL DWARVEN WEAPON MAKING TYPE PEOPLE. APPLY WITHIN. FREE ADVERTISING INCLUDED.


Extra funds will to toward Ashe Rhyder's fundraiser of saving an angel type thingy that's being bled to death for it's silver innards. *reminder my fundraiser is more important*

Incentives are as written below. Goal of $250,000 has been set by asshole GM husband. Let's show him up people!

2 backers
11,800gp pledged of 250,000gp goal
28 days to go

Pledge of 50gp
A autographed photo of Elsa and a hearty thank you.

Pledge of 100gp
Previous incentives and a gallon of your choice of chocolate or strawberry milk from Elsa's famous singing cows.

 We only use whole milk

Pledge of 200gp
Previous incentives and a gallon of Februze (TM), Elsa and Mr. Racoon's Astonishing all purpose cleaner and gelatinous cube solvent.

 New fresh scent.

Pledge of 500gp
Previous incentives and glossy reproduction print of "Nameless Nude Lady" (aka Elsa) found in the WonderSmith's tower dungeon.

That was a hell of a story

Pledge of 1000gp
Previous incentives and all expenses paid trip to Reynaldo and Annah's lake island villa (fully stocked and furnished) on the eastern coast of the Marnharnnan continent, Urutsk.
*Taxes and gratuities not included.

Pledge of 5000gp
Previous incentives and a one time free use of Elsa's 8 passenger flying carpet or a ride on her faithful and tireless camel, Bridget, in any flailsnails game (GM rules may apply). 

 You know you want it

Pledge of 10000gp
Previous incentives and no damage resulting from Elsa's chronic critical failures that end up with her shooting a fellow party member.

Say NO to friendly fire

Friday, March 15, 2013


A few people asked for the monsters I made up for my first session, so here they are!

Fear Finches

Small zebra finches a few inches high. Cheerful chirps, whistles and buzzes. They stay in large flocks as they are tiny and easily injured. They are trained to guard treasure or protect against cursed items. Their beaks have a hallucinogenic that cause those bitten to panic, flee or fight. If caught, they make a lovey and amusing pet.

HP 1
AC 0
Speed 120' (flying)
 Will Save against bite

Screaming Peeper 

Giant desert frog lives in large earthen spires to protect against dry heat. While average ones are the size of a plump pony they can grow to the size of a warhorse. If startled it puffs itself up and squeals in attempt to scare off it's attacker. If that fails it will lash out violently. Known to eat random things, if cut open it sometime reveals treasure inside.

HD 5
HP: 25
AC: 18
Speed: 120 ft (jumping)
Tongue whip: +5 to hit 1d8 damage FORTE save against sticky tongue, if failed then 1d6 damage for bite.
Peep: WILL save. If failed, PC is stunned for 1d4 rounds

Ghost Horse

Usually a gelding these ghosts tend to ward off intruders. If provoked it will lash out with hooves and teeth causing either 1d6 in damage or one point of CON lost. Can be ridden with silver trimmed tack.

HD 4
HP 20
AC 16
Speed 60'
Kick/Bite +4 to hit

Thursday, March 14, 2013

I Making This Up as I Go...

I GMed again (please hold all applause). And this time I literally made it up as I went. I sat down and started drawing a map, just a few rooms, none connected or well thought out. I then made monster for each room, then some treasure, then a reason to be there. 

 My pretty little map

Before I knew it I had a session to play. An honest to goodness game that had never been seen or played before, something all my own.

And then I made it more so. I’ve been playing around with this idea for a game for some time. I’ve written some stuff down, but mostly talked it over and come up with mental lists. All I knew is it was called Magic Faraway Land and was the weird lovechild of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with some D&D sprinkled all over. Eventually I’ll make a proper blog post about it as I come up with it. Today I just want to tell you about my kickass game. But what I can tell you right now is my game takes place in a Regency era English county where portals have been opened all over. And things keep coming out. Basically the motto for my game is “Society did the only decent thing, and polity crumbled.”

I invited some friends and my husband to roll up characters for my game. 3d6 in order and don’t be a pussy. I then explained the classes for my game and allowed people to tweak and fiddle until they came up with something they actually wanted to play. My husband helped out a lot with figuring out saving throws and AC, since I’m still mostly clueless about them.

Miss Grumshaw, Raj and Rudyard

We came up with two Bucks and a Chaperone. Bucks are a reskinned fighter class. We had the English second son named Rudyard who had spent time serving the military in India. He has a WIS of 6 and is all kinds of precious. He came back from India with Raj, a Indian who has a talent for getting into (and out of) trouble. The Chaperone is a straight up Cleric, Miss Kitty Grumshaw. She is an older lady who looked after the Lieutenant’s sisters before they married. She has such weapons as a parasol and a handbag. Her first level spell/ability is Cure Light Wounds or, in her case, administering Cod Liver Oil. Eventually she’ll be able to Scold (or turn undead). Her player is BRILLANT in role playing her and I can’t wait to see what happens.

For the Bucks I used Zak Smith’s Alternate Fighter class, where instead of getting better you roll on a table for each level gained. Rudyard rolled 

“You've been like hunting and stuff with your Ranger friends. You can now knock prone or shove anything that is animal intelligence up to the size of a bear in addition to also doing usual damage on a successful melee hit. Subsequently re-rolling this result gives you a +2 to damage vs animal-intelligence foes.”
Raj rolled up 

“You have learned where not to stand. +2 to jumping out of the way (reflex save, breath weapon save whatever it's called in your system). +1 thereafter if you re-roll this.”

I made the hook for this session simple. The three of them were walking along a country road, minding their own business, and a portal opened. They arrived unceremoniously in a pitch black room except for the grow emanating from the strange red grass that lined the floor. Two large trees were heavy with fruit and the chitter of small birds echoed. A stone table in the middle of the room simply stated “Fruit of Good and Evil.” Rudyard of course by now has collected several fruit from one tree and all the small birds have quieted and are now watching him intently. Raj got fruit from the other but the birds are leaving him alone. Raj has the Good fruit which provide 1d4 of HP 1x a day if eaten. It can be made into preserves as it will spoil. Rudy has the Fruit of Evil which will cause 1d4 of damage and the stones can be used for spells and potions. Miss Grumshaw politly ignores everything and just tries to get out.

The Terrifying Fear Finch

Rudy gets pecked and freaks the hell out as the Fear Finch hallucinogen starts working. He flees form the room and out the only working door…

…Into a desert. A vast pile of sand in all directions with random crap spilled here and there, including buildings, rooms and whatnot. Two large earthen spires catch my player’s attention and Raj starts digging. Miss Grumshaw hides beneath her parasol to keep her completion nice. 

A GIANT FROG LEAPS OUT OF THE SPIRE and puffs itself up to its full side (about the size of a fat pony). Rudy and Miss Grumshaw start to ease away but of course Rudyard  sees a chance to knock over a beast with his special ability. He bumrushes the frog and manages to make his save against the horrible ear piercing PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW the frog makes. He broadsides the beasty and knocks it over. The frog misses with his tongue attack and Rudy drives his sword into the soft throat of the frog. The belly of the frog is split open and random silverware, bowls and crap fall out. 

They then investigate the closest building and inside find a stable. It’s cool and damp and empty. Water still in the buckets, hay in the troughs, dirt on the floor, even one of the stalls still needs to be mucked. But soft whickers and hoof paws echo throughout the stable. They investigate the one dirty stall and quickly discover a an invisible horse. After trying to make friends with it they discover it’s a ghost that us hell bent on making them go away. 

Miss Grumshaw finds the tack room which holds a beautiful silver trimmed set of tack. Raj manages to Punjab lasso the ghost and he and Rudy start a tug of war. They drag the horse to a set of cross ties as Miss Grumshaw tacks up the ghost (I’ll admit I hadn’t anticipated this). The horse strikes out with a front hoof and deals 5 points of damage to Raj, 2 more than he has. Rudy mounts as Miss Grumshaw pours her trusty Cod Liver Oil  into Raj and brings him up to 0. She then stuffs the Good fruit and rolls for max HP! He’s alive! Rudy manages to hold on as the horse bucks and kicks until it’s exhausted. Through a series of really good rolls he tames the ghost horse instead of kills it( again, I had not foreseen this) He give it to Miss Grumshaw as a gift and they pile on and out the stable door…
…and back on the country road they started on.

So, lessons learned:
1)      I’m still rubbish at keeping track of who’s turn it is
2)      I’m apparently very clever with monsters
3)      I have the ability to have two different conversations with two players at once, so no one has to wait to make a move. This tickles me to no end.
4)      Being able to roll with the punches is a good thing and making up shit as I go is an ok thing to do.
5)      I love fucking being a GM.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Knows How to Get the Girl...

My husband gives me the nicest things. I wanted to play a mermaid in our D&D hack game and, after several odd looks and long explanations, my love made me a mermaid class to play. It's horrible and doomed and scary and I'm so in love with it! Check it out on his blog!

Bum Rush the Titan!

I can't wait to play her!

Friday, February 22, 2013

I Did the GM Thing

So I did the GM thing

I've been trying to psych myself up to start GMing for the past several months. Due to real life intruding I've been putting it off, although mentally I've been coming up with ideas for a campaign setting (MORE ON THAT EVENTUALLY). Well the ever impressive Stacy Dellorfano had been searching for a GM to run a session of Lamentations of the Flame Princess for the online gaming conventions for women, ConTessa. I LOVE LotFP, I love Stacy, and I'm all flame princessy (aka ginger) so I thought it rather apt to volunteer my pathetically naive self to run it.

I've never run a game before and this was to be an On Air Hangout event. As in people who know how to play/run better than me will be watching/playing.

 *insert mental screaming here*

So I decided in for a penny, in for a pound and knew I had to start running ASAP. My wonderful regular gaming group kindly accepted the idea of me running a session for them. They used the characters they already use for our home game and I used a pre-made one page module tweaked to fit the setting. So it was more of a side adventure than anything really hard.

I used Kiel Chenier's module "Peril of the Fat Princess" because it makes me laugh every time I think of it. I decided to tweak it a bit and instead of a princess I inserted my flailsnails PC, the infamous Elsa. I ran the game the day before Valentine's so I made it all lovey dovey themed. I set up a situation where everyone discovered Elsa was missing and would track her to a magical bakery where she was being used as a sacrifice to summon an elder god!


Insert problem number one. Anyone who knows Elsa knows she's not the most engaging of personalities. She's also Flailsnails so the other PCs are used to her running off suddenly and returning without a word of why she now has a pair of bronze scissors and a flying carpet/ So when she suddenly turns up missing they all shrugged and decided to go back to bed.


So I kept sending out little hints that hopefully would send them into a frenzy to start the rescue mission. My dear husband was doing all he could to encourage them with his PC (who I'd written into the session as a booty call), but my dear players were enjoying themselves pulling my leg.

I finally got them to notice that Elsa had left her beloved Piggy Bank of Holding behind, something she'd NEVER do. So they moaned and groaned and finally decided to start the rescue mission. They arrived at the bakery, scoped it out, and entered. First off was a library full of cook books and goons. Begin first fight. One brief moment of "HOLY FUCK!" when an NPC dealt 11 points of damage to a PC. I learned how frustrating it could be to wrangle Lego men heads on a slippery battle map. I also learned that sometimes on modules little things like saving throws aren't listed and I've got to make up shit. I learned the NPCs were super powerful and would quickly mow through the players. So I learned to tweak on the fly so it was more fair, but still had enough oomph to give them grief.

To make the module last longer I added a fourth room. A dining room set up for a romantic Valentine's Day dinner of long ago. I turned the chairs into wooden mimics and rigged the table so when someone jumped on it (which of course someone did) the chandelier above came crashing down

 *insert evil GM glee here*

They fought the chairs and even threw one into the bag of holding for taming later (alrighty then). They completely bypassed the next room (a kitchen) by promptly ignoring everything (including the magical heart shaped cakes flying around) and walked to the next floor.

There they found poor Elsa sitting in a heartagram getting plumper by the minute. A lady was surrounded by flying heart cakes as she chanted the ritual for summoning an elder god! The cakes would attempt to feed themselves to the PC and, if eaten, the PC would gain weight. This happened twice to one PC

*insert evil GM glee here*

And then they mowed down the cakes with fire magic and began chipping away at the evil enchantress's HP. they dragged poor, ballooned Elsa out of the ring and frantically tried to wake her up and get her back to normal. I had planned this beautiful sweeping scenario where she had been (literally) filled with every bit of fear, apathy, anger and longing she had and it had to be released (in my mind, via a kiss. What? I'm a goof like that and like mushy stuff. don't judge me). It soon became obvious that no one was gonna kiss her, though they were giving pretty little speeches about how she wasn't alone, they liked her, etc etc etc. So I stopped pixel bitching and let them win without a grand climax.

One regret I have is all my NPC had NO PERSONALITY and mostly stood around silently and hit people. LAME. I realized I have trouble keeping track of everyone and kept relying on other people to help me keep track of rounds. Tsk tsk. I got pretty ok at making on the fly decisions and not letting PCs get too wild. I was super generous with my XP and treasure to commemorate losing my GM virginity and there was much rejoicing.

So I ran a solid 3 hours and didn't die. I really enjoyed it! I like GMing because it keep me engaged. I have trouble sitting for long periods of time and when my PC isn't busy I tend to get wiggly. I blame 3 hour church ceremonies while growing up on this inability to sit still and keep my mind on the matter at hand. When I'm GMing even if I'm not talking I'm still focused and intent on what's happening. The time also goes by quicker and I don't get into the gaming brain fog I do while playing.

So I've still got a LOOOOOONG way to go before ConTessa but I'm encouraged. I'm going to try and run a few more home games and a few hangout before just so I don't look like a complete goof with dozens of people watching me. But, hey...

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Monday, February 4, 2013

Ginger's First Year


Happy Gaming Birthday ME ME!
   I’ve been gaming for over a year now and still kicking! I’ve learned so stinkin’ much and still have soooooooo far to go. I’ve been struggling with how to put my thoughts onto paper and finally just asked the clever people over on Google+...

“What question would you ask someone after their first year of gaming when they had absolutely no prior experience beforehand?”

So here is what people submitted and my answers to them.

What was the most memorable thing that happened at the table? and why you still remember it?
   When half our party was killed. We were battling a plant lady, half of us had fallen under her trance and were helpless. Our one player had a magical blunderbuss grafted onto his PC’s arm and he decided to fire it into melee. It was so horrendous that it instantly killed evil-plant lady and two other PCs. The PC who had done it was so devastated that he then turned the gun onto himself and committed suicide.
   We all sat there stunned in horror, half giggling and half disbelieving. All three PCs were part of the very first campaign I had been in and the knowledge that I would never play with them again just hit me broadside. They were some of the most lawful of our party and had been a moral compass for most of the other characters.
   Everyone handled it like professionals and rolled up new characters quickly. Jokes were shared and lots of laughing was had. To be honest I did cry. My PC was perfectly ok but I sat and cried. Those characters had been there while I was just starting out gaming and had been going through some very traumatic real life situations. They were familiar and had grown so much. I still miss them

What games did you play and what did you like best and why?
    D&D Hack is my favorite. A home-brewed spin on the old school gaming with lots of personal flavor and craziness. I also really enjoy Homicidal Transients, Maid, Adventurer Conqueror King, Dungeons Crawl Classics, Laminations of the Flame Princess and Old School Hack. I like games without a lot of math, complicated mechanics, or rules that really hinder the gamers. Anything that railroads or pixel bitches drives me insane.

What would you have wanted that you didn't have as a new player?
   Confidence! I was such a timid, shy creature so afraid to make any move. I was surrounded by the absolute best people who really encouraged me to be creative.
    Something I wish I did have was more knowledge of any of the worlds. I had the bare minimum knowledge of monsters and mythology, I still struggle with the difference between bugbears and ogres.

What was the funniest thing to happen while gaming in the last year?
   Oh goodness so, so many funny stories. During our ACKS game a group of trolls terrorists were holding a Halfing house and had demanded chocolate covered pignings. Our party’s resident halfing stripped naked, covered himself in chocolate, hopped in a wheelbarrow and oinked his way inside. With that distraction at the front of the house the rest of us snuck around back and massacred the place.
   Other highlights include a spell of corpulence, riding cyborg T-rexs in New York with the Hulk and Spider-Man’s Amazing Friends (I played Fire Star naturally), and my favorite session to date at Castle Bouttreaux (as read about  Here).

Was there anything about gaming that caught you by surprise or you weren't expecting?
   That I care less about the story and more about hitting things. I’ve the patience of a toddler before naptime when gaming and if anything takes too long I tend to lose it and become Leeroy Jenkins.
   I’m also surprised how exhausting it is for me. I can only game for 2-3 hours before my brain starts to melt and I get wiggly. The longest sessions I’ve been in was 5 hours and I was so tired by the end I nearly started crying. It was an absolute blast, but it was truly tiring for me.
   I know a lot of people who if they have a bad or exhausting day, the best way for them to unwind is to play. I’m not like that. Gaming is such a mental exercise for me, to put on another skin and thought process can be a real hassle. So if my personal life is distracting my PC tends to distracted also.

How can this be better?
   Less bullshit and more actual gaming. There’s so much debate about what’s the “correct” way to game and what should be allowed and what shouldn’t and it’s all annoying and takes away from the very basic foundation that THIS IS A FUCKING GAME AND WE PLAY IT TO HAVE FUN. UGH.

What do you wish you had been told about going in?
    There are a lot of assholes.
Also I’d like to know more about fantasy going in. That I’d have to know a lot about history or mythology to get the significance of some things. But usually there’s always someone to explain to me so it’s not that bad.

17 year old Elsa 1st Level
Art by CG-Sphinx

What is your most successful/favorite character?
   Elsa is my first Flailsnails PC who has been adapted for our home D&D game. She still Flailsnails occasionally. She was originally rolled up for Mike F’s Terruizeng game. She is an ACKs Explorer class and started out with a longbow and a rubbish sword she called Darla.    
   Elsa started out without any personality and without any thought of her future. during that first island game she emerged as a impatient, selfish and somewhat bratty female with a lot of talent and very shitty roles. She tends to accidently shoot party members in the back for full damage.
   She is my lazy character and I love that about her. I don’t have to think really hard to play her. Usually however I’m feeling that day is how she reacts. Knee jerk, off the cuff and a total chicken. She’s survived to nearly 5th level simply by running from things too powerful for her to handle.
   After several sessions with her we developed a bit of a back story. She’s a survivor of the Roanoke Colony. As a young girl she saw her entire family and friends brutally killed. She was then found and raised by Native Americans, hence her amazing tracking and naturalist skills. As a 17 year old she started Flailsnailing and decided that’s just her job. She doesn’t really have a  goal or a home, she is just a fighter/dungeon crawler. She flirts with pretty people, shoots before asking, gets into petty arguments and tells everyone about her Lord and Savior, Jesus. She sews, cooks, and knows herbs and medicine. She doesn’t think too deeply, so don’t expect her fall in love with your PC or even sit and wonder about him. Not that’s she incapable, it’s just that everyone she’s ever known died and that’s just how life is to her. No point crying or fretting or seeking revenge. The most heartfelt thing she’s ever done was when half the party died she donated half her very substantial collection of gold to one of the dead PC’s daughter.
   Elsa collects random things and rarely uses them. She has an 8 passenger flying carpet, a camel named Bridget, a chainmail bikini, a dress made of rose petals, a cloak against wards, three pornography novels, cleaning supplies included one called Februze, and many many others. She lives in a bowler hat that has an entire house inside. Usually when she (or rather I) gets tired or she gets fed up with everyone she goes into the hat and takes a hot bath. She doesn’t really want or need an actual home. She also doesn’t invest or bank her gold. she carries a piggy bank of holding that has unlimited room. When she needs more money she shakes it and either a single copper falls out or a hundred gold pieces. When rattled it never sounds like more than two tin coins rolling around. If it ever breaks the gold inside will avalanch anyone in the area and will probably hurt quite badly.
   Elsa is my favorite and the most fun to play. She’s petty and sexy and, when inspired, an amazing fighter. I look forward to many many more adventures with her.
22 year old Elsa high 4th Level (current)
Art by Mabuart
After trying different game systems, what is your least favorite game mechanic and why?
   Thus far Burning Wheel, Mouse Guard and Changling. I know SOOOO many people are going to hate me for this but I really don’t like mechanics that hinder the action in any way. They should enhance or drive it, not make you take extra time so you can level up enough to maybe beat a monster.

What do you wanna do or try but haven't yet?
   GM. I’ve got an idea and a good support group but I’m a horrible chicken and even sititng and writing ideas down freaks me out.

"Wanna see something really scary?"
   Yes and no. I’m a giant chicken and scary things actually do scare me. I wasn’t exposed to many scary things growing up so I still get that shock factor most adults have lost. But I’m also extremely curious so chances are I will look at whatever scary thing you’re offering and then squeal in dismay.

Are you going to keep playing?
Of course. It’s fun, stimulated and very social for me. Plus so many of my friends play so if I ever want to see them I have to!

I'd love to hear about what they liked the most and why?
   I like it best when I have a group of clever smart-asses and we come up with the most cockamamie ideas on the planet. The more absurd the more I love it. I dearly love to laugh and anything that’s witty and fast paced I just gobble up.

Did they run anything themselves and how did it go? Did GMing make them a better player? Why?
    I haven’t run yet but have plans to do so. I’m working on a campaign called Magic Faraway Land and am throwing in everything goofy idea that pops into my mind. It’ll be run using Holmes D&D, be 1-3 level, Flailsnails compatible, and utterly insane. Basically it’s Pride and Prejudice meets D&D. I know GMing will make a better player because I’ll know what the GM striving to provide to the players. I think simply by knowing more about all sides of gaming will make me a better player.

What was your biggest regret of not doing something that you could have tried?
   Herm. Hard one. There’s lots of little things I wish I’d done. Gotten to the treasure faster, run away faster, all sorts of things. My biggest struggle is stop speaking up enough when I really want something. I have a phobia of holding up the game (since it drives me insane when someone else does). So there have been missed conversations, missed treasured, missed followers, missed adventures and missed relationships. I tend to go with the consensus of the group instead of my own thing since it tends for a more productive session. But I also feel like my PCs give up a lot of potential by doing so. I’ll sacrifice their growth for the sake of the other player's.

So to sum up I’ve learned a lot and still have a long way to go. I don’t like to read gaming books and I don’t like lengthy explanations. I hate GMs who love fooling/bullshitting/being more clever than their players. I love sexy female characters and smartass male ones. I love random tables. I hate story games. I love rolling 3d6 in order and discovering who I’m going to play. I like finding my PC’s personality and style as I go instead of figuring it out beforehand. I love stupid names and crazy lands and half baked schemes played out by smartass bastards telling dirty jokes. I’ve had the best people to introduce me into this breathtaking hobby and am so grateful to them introducing me to their game. I look forward to many many more years of tabletop RPGs!

Friday, July 13, 2012

In Which We Tie the Knot and Get Stuff.

Most of you already know but my beloved and I decided to elope on July Fourth. I highly recommend eloping. It's fast, simple, inexpensive, and completely no stress.

Upon hearing of our blessed union the ASTONISHINGLY AWESOME people over on Google+ got together and decided to create a list of wedding gifts for us. Not actual gifts but FLAILSNAILS GIFTS! The following is the amazing and humbling love that was poured out for us. People actually took the time and effort to do this for us!

Wedding Presents

1) I, Jason Kielbasa, give Annah Victoria and Reynaldo Madrinan a pair of wedding shotguns. They add a +1 in CHA to the individual holding them and do 2d4 damage. They can be fired every other round and never run out of shells. On the side is engraved Annah + Reynaldo forever. They come shipped in the color of your choice.

2) I, Evan Van Elkins, give Annah and Reynaldo Madrinan the Luck of the Froglings: once, and only once, they may each automatically pass a saving throw without having to roll a die.

3). I, Kyrinn S. Eis, give the couple a lake island villa (fully stocked and furnished) on the eastern coast of the Marnharnnan continent, Urutsk.  The local Dokirin and Humanoids are loyal to them in so far as to keep them and their property safe.

4). I, Jez Gordon, give the couple the keys to their choice of one of the following
secondhand beautifully restored starships:
The Cutter - (interior) THIS IS THE ONE I WANT BTW!!!!!!
The Hauler - (interior)
The Messenger - (sorry still hosing the insides down on this one but oh look over here!)The vessel of their dreams awaits them in the Sulgoran Wrecking Yards, Malicrux Sector, where this fine fellow assures me that any connections with previous owners, previous owners’ debts, or previous owners’ enemies have been thoroughly erased.   

5) I, Albert Rakowski, give the couple the Tower of Silvernight located in the Northern District of Krshal and pair of silver keys to open its doors. Also, I give them the keys to the Upper Aglor in the Lower Kradia in Underworld Kingdom, which allows them to access the better part of the city.

6)Yo, I, ScrapPrincess, Dark Mistress of the ANtiverse, Kludge Witch and petty thief, do give the couple a duck. To share between them as they see fit.

7) I, Kasper Blomdell, gift the lucky couple with a villa in the city of Concordia in the realm of Horizon, and free passage to and from the realm. To be stocked and furnished to their liking by the very best the Traditions have to offer.

8) I, Zak S, give them each a solicitor of Vornheim, licensed to practice law in all the realms of FLAILSNAILia, to call upon in times of need.

9) I, Trey Causey, have been informed that Management, the eikone of Order and Bureaucracy, has looked favorably upon their nuptials and is willing to see that the cosmic paperwork related to one misfortune each that may befall them be misfiled--and thus calamity averted.

10) I, Mike Fernandez, bequeath a feast, like the one in that movie Hook.

11) Richard Guy pledges one crystal and brass diving bell, with a 2000’ chain and winch, which holds air sufficient for two persons for six hours.

12) I, Erik Jensen, on behalf of the ruling godlings, Vice-lords, and fairy-monarchs of Wampus Country, do hereby grant to the happy couple a herd of singing cows which give both chocolate and strawberry milk depending on the season.

13. I Chris Kutalik, provost of Radegast lord of hosts, grant thee

14. I, Humza Kazmi, present the couple with the favor of the Blood Moons. They may, once per year, request a detachment of Blood Moon mercenaries to serve as unpaid hirelings for a month. d6 Blood Moons per request, blood-red chain mail, assortment of weaponry, crazy grins, 1st-level fighters.

15. I, Zach Marx Weber, present the couple with a pair of coupons for free assassinations performed by a certain albino elf known to them, good for any nameable character in the FLAILSNAILS universe as long as he may live. In addition, I present a small box of ornately worked silver, containing a ruby egg, an iron key, and the deed to a property of some kind in a land called VĂ©rtique; these items may be of little worth at present, but should access to that unknown land ever be gained at some future time, they may be of some use.

16. I, Reece Carter, bequeath the couple with a his and hers Panther XXL Assault Cannon (shadowrun 4th ed), and two sets of paperwork which prove that they are free-men/women and as such are unable to be press ganged into service, this paper work is useable in the FLAILSNAILS universe. congrats guys!

17, I, Harald Wagener, provide the couple with a barrel of lard, to be used in times of fun or danger, as they see fit (+2 to escape grapples when slathered in lard).

18. I Joey Lindsey, grant the couple a pair of Quantum Helmets; the next time a DM turns his fearful gaze to either and asks, “Are you wearing a helmet?” they will know the answer...even if the character was not wearing a helmet a moment before. Can be exchanged for a very interesting ID swipe card in the lost moon thing I hope to run soon.

19. I Michael Moscrip, Master of Castle Nicodemus and Planet Caravan, grant the happy couple a Morvalian Veil of Shadows. It will allow two people to Hide in Shadows as thieves equal to the higher level of the two. It may be used thrice per day, as it takes a bit of time for it to gather its shadows. Once per day, the attempt to hide is automatically successful, though the hiding pair know not which attempt this might be (1 chance in 3, rolled by DM.)

20.  I, Jeremy Duncan, Urizen’s Regent on Galbaruc and Star-Satrap of Oriax, present the following to the newlyweds:

When visiting +Galbaruc , why not escape the noise and smoke and general depravity of the city and take a well-earned holiday in the nearby seaside town of Ilpritz-by-the-Sea?  You have the deed to a charming converted lighthouse tower overlooking the town, and with a commanding view of the ocean.  Rumors of the town's takeover by hideous monsters, and dark mutterings of ancient vaults beneath the lighthouse are surely nothing more than wild gossip spread by malicious agents of rival resorts.

If you ever have the misfortune to find yourself on the planet+Oriax , inquire at the the shop of Pabali the Slug-man at Pazuzu Station.  He will hand you the keys (and the address of) a nondescript hangar on the outskirts of town.  There, you will find a small sky-gondola, the Epithalamion .  It can comfortably seat two passengers, a pilot, and a gunner, may be steered by means of sails and rudder, and features a mounted ballista on a swiveling platform at the aft.
##: Trent B.  Ok so... uh...

When you next come to New Feierland, this happens:

Doesn't it just blow your mind? My husband proclaimed the day it was presented as the "Second Best Day Ever." When prompted he said the very best day was our wedding day  *swoons*

THAT'S NOT ALL FOLKS! Some truly lovely people even sent us for reals gifts, like in the mail and everything!

I cannot being to explain for grateful and humbled I am by these gifts. Everyone's love and support means the world to us. Thank you again and again and again <3